Be Still

Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth!"- Psalms 46:10 KJV

The words "be still and know that I am God" have become almost a cliché. There's songs, t-shirts, bracelets, onesies, artwork; just about anything you can think of. There's a lot of Bible verses that are popular enough to become a pop-culture, feel good reference, and this is one of them.

So it's not surprising that it was floating through my head a lot. Maybe it's because my Pinterest feed is covered in it, maybe it's because you can't read a devotional without coming across this verse, maybe it's just because it was drilled into my head in church as a child. But until very recently, it was just words. And then suddenly, it had depth.

"Be still, and know that I am God." How can I be still enough to hear and know God in a world that's so overstimulating? I am constantly bombarded with words; my children talking to me, my phone ringing, texts from family and friends, and the constant stimulation of social media, to name a few. Even if my body is physically still (which is a rare occurrence anyway), my brain and heart are always active and overstimulated. Is it even possible to be still and know God?

But a relationship with God is important to me. So very important, in fact, that everything else in my life suffers when it falls by the wayside. But it does, and it has for many years. But I'm a mother, and I homeschool, and I have a toddler, and I'm a wife. And I'm pregnant! How can I add time to be still?

I've mulled over and pondered and prayed over it. And the answer strikes me every so often like it's new information, because I'm sometimes silly and stiff and God has to remind me.

However, he made a practice of withdrawing to remote places to pray. -Luke 5:16

I was so struck with this verse in Luke that I wrote it down and taped it to the doorway of my bedroom so I would see it when I got up every morning.

Yeshua (Jesus) himself, at the height of his ministry on earth, when crowds of thousands were begging for his attention day and night, made time and spent his energy going to the quiet places, so he could pray to hear and know God.

If our Messiah, the literal Son of God needed the time to be still and know God, how much more important is it for me? I don't get to see Him face to face, I walk by faith, not by sight. But if I don't know why I am walking, what's even the point?

I can't very well go off into the wilderness and pray though. My kids would panic, plus it's cold. And there's hardly a wilderness here anyway. A remote place in my life looks more like the bathroom with the door locked, or my bed at night after everyone else has fallen asleep and stopped asking me for things.

I rarely have time for physical stillness. I'm no monk, I don't have enough hours in the day to sit in literal silence and pray. When I read my Bible, it's interjected about a hundred times a minute with someone asking me for help, or sitting on my lap, or asking for a snack, or asking if I know where their shoes or wallet got off to.

My ministry is hardly as wide spread or as miraculous as the one my Messiah led, but it's not unimportant. And much like Yeshua, there's very little time in the day for things like sleeping or reading. How many times do we read about him trying to sleep and everyone bothering him? As a mother, I can relate.

But he still took time to pray. And he often prayed over people while they were standing there. And he was constantly teaching, but in order to teach, he also had to know what the scriptures said. So what's the difference between he and I? Why can't I seem to find the time to be still and know God?

I have spare moments. We all do. Nobody in the world has every second of every day tied up entirely in busyness. You'd drop dead from exhaustion. I'm busy but my brain and heart aren't always very active.

As a mother, I've often complained that my brain feels under-stimulated. That's part of the reason I randomly take the time to write blog posts about what I am learning, or even do in depth research about medical treatments. So, I attempt to stimulate my brain with news, social media, talking on the phone to other adults to fill a conversational gap. My heart and mind never are still.

I recently realized that I felt both under and over stimulated at the same time. It was a troubling type of exhaustion that never seemed to go away. I was irritable, felt like I was always being interrupted, and never was able to give my full time and attention to anything; not my kids, not reading scripture, not even scrolling Instagram. It was so exhausting, and something had to give.

Be still. I couldn't actually be still. My kids are young, and they can't wait. Dinner has to get cooked, dishes have to get washed, laundry has to be folded. So what could go?

I'm sure any sane person can guess. Social Media.

I knew it, but I didn't want to do it. It's my connection to the world! How am I supposed to know what's happening out there? How am I supposed to stay connected with my friends? What if I miss something important? Don't moms need support groups to get through the day?

But I felt convicted. I deleted social media off my phone. I got phone numbers so I could still hear from my friends, and I knew I could check occasionally from my computer, but the urge to scroll just isn't as strong when it's not on your phone.

I was still irritable because now I felt disconnected. I had a lot of thoughts I wanted to share. I wanted to hear the thoughts of my friends. But I persevered, and over time, felt myself begin to relax. And suddenly, I realized how much more stimulated my mind was, and how much more time I could dedicate to my family and friends. That wasn't the end though. I was only starting my growing pains.

Therefore, we must pay much more careful heed to the things we have heard, so that we will not drift away. -Hebrews 2:1 CJB

This isn't the first time I've deleted social media off my phone, and certainly not the most drastic. Back at the end of 2020, I entirely deleted most of my social media altogether, and when I came back months later, was starting fresh with new accounts.

Was I backsliding? Not exactly. I had left for a season, to clear my mind, and I came back because I felt the lack of fellowship. It was near the beginning of my real journey into scripture, and I felt like I was bursting at the seams with things to share. And share I did. My Instagram account is almost entirely made up of scripture.

But I did start to drift away. Not from God. But from being still. And from my duties at home. Sure, things were getting done at home, but I wasn't doing them with a willing and peaceful heart. I wasn't remembering to pray when I felt overwhelmed. I was snappy. It's not like be still was a new concept, but I did not pay careful heed to what I had learned already, and I drifted away.

It's not always as simple as "I forgot to pray with the kids before bed because I was scrolling Instagram", and not always so drastic as "I haven't picked up my Bible in a year and I'm living a life of sin". But it is a slippery slope from one to the other.

When I start looking at the World instead of God, little things are the first to slip. I don't pray often. I don't work with my kids on understanding God's Word, or discipling them. I start to get lazy about reading my scripture. But the times I don't catch it quickly and put an end to pointless distractions, I slip into bigger issues, like feeling angry in my heart and in turn disrespecting my husband, or gossiping, or looking into very dark things online (yes, I've fallen very deep down the conspiracy rabbit hole, and it is a terrible place to be).

What is interesting about the verses I'm sharing here is that I read them out of order, but at the same time. When I turned away from the distraction of Instagram, I had more time to pause throughout the day and peruse my Bible. Sometimes, I just leave it sitting open on the kitchen table and when I have some free time during naps, or while my children play, I sit down there and read instead of scrolling (I also sometimes use this time for researching things, or like today, blogging).

One evening, after the children were in bed, I sat down to read the verse in Psalms 46. I heard 'be still' repeated over and over in my head until it nearly drove me crazy, so I looked it up. As I read the Psalm, for some reason, I was pulled to the book of Hebrews. I read the first 2 chapters, and the verse I just shared nearly leaped off the page at me. It led me from one verse to another, and I was connecting dots I had never even considered before and somehow events happening in the day were making sense in a way that I can only describe as 'divine intervention'.

Also, 'I will put my trust in him'...and then it goes on 'Here I am, along with the children God has given me'. -Hebrews 2:13 CJB

As I said, things were leaping off the page at me, and this one had me leaning back staring up at the ceiling in awe, thinking of the events of the day.

I had been struggling with my absence from social media. I felt disconnected sometimes, and even though I knew it was for the best, it was still hard (and some days still is).

This particular day, I decided we needed to get out of the house, so we went to visit my in-laws. My mother-in-law is in the thick of child-raising, and her youngest daughter is the same age as my oldest son. So while the kids played, we sat at the table over cups of tea and talked about social media and television and the news. She was feeling the same overwhelm with social media and podcasts that I was, and we both agreed that it's much better for our faith and families when we weren't distracted.

As we were talking, and my resolve to be careful with social media was strengthened, the kids came running into the house, all talking at the same time. They had been outside playing, sliding down the snowy bank into the driveway, when suddenly, as the sun turned snow to slush, one of the parked cars slid backwards into my car. Nobody was hurt, my car was dented, and they couldn't stop talking about it.

My husband was able to come over and deal with it, and you can barely see a scratch now (bless him for his know-how). The kids kept talking about how loud it was and how crazy it was and then ran off to play some more. Seemed like the crisis was averted and over.

When we got home later that day, my oldest son, who had been playing and saw the cars collide, was talking more than usual (he's already a very curious, very chatty young man). He was running a million miles an hour, and even by bedtime, I couldn't seem to get him to calm down. He kept getting up to use the bathroom, even several hours after we had 'wound down' for the night. Eventually, I settled into bed myself, which is when I read these scriptures, but not until after this happened.

He came into my room, around 9:45, and said he just couldn't sleep. I patted the bed next to me, and figured I could snuggle him for a while and see if he would calm down. He told me he was too nervous to fall asleep, and even though he knows God is bigger than anything (thank you Veggie Tales), he couldn't fall asleep. I asked him what he was scared of, and he said he couldn't stop thinking about the cars. It had been his turn to slide down the bank, and if he had slid down even a second sooner, he wouldn't have been able to stop himself in time, and would have been very close, dangerously so, to the car that slid backwards down the driveway.

I asked him why he hadn't slid down, suddenly realizing just how serious things could have been, and he told me he had heard something in his head say 'be still'.

He said it wasn't like his voice, he just thought it all of a sudden, and stopped himself. I said to him, "that was God's voice telling you to be still". I said it so nonchalantly, thinking it was going to help him calm down, because to me it was very clear that he had been very close to possible danger, but God was protecting him. My own mind was racing with the significance of those particular words.

He turned to me, eyes wide and said "I thought God didn't talk to me!" He said he had often wondered why God never spoke to him, because he was expecting a regular conversation when he prayed, and never heard a booming voice in response to his prayers.

It opened up a conversation about how God protects us, and how we have to listen to hear His voice. As we were talking, my own eyes were opened as well. I realized that he had been worrying and anxious all day; the excessive talking, having to get up a use the bathroom, his mouth being dry, his chest feeling tight, and being unable to go to sleep. It was all classic signs of anxiety. I could even feel his heart racing when he laid down next to me. If I had been watching TV or scrolling social media when he got up, I might have exasperatedly told him to go back to bed and count sheep because I felt entitled to 'me time'. Instead, I was sitting and reading scripture, and so when he came into the room, my heart was quiet, and I very easily remembered Yeshua saying "let the little children come to me", so I talked to him instead of sending him back to bed.

After we talked, he went to sleep, and slept soundly all night. I realize now that our chat could very easily have planted the seed in his heart that grows into a strong faith, because he knows God is looking out for him.

It was after this that I read that verse in Hebrews and was struck with how significant my role in my children's life is. "Here I am, along with the children God has given me". If I am not focused on God and eternal life, how can I direct them on the righteous path? But here I am, standing before God, both I, and the children he has given me.

My heart was so convicted right then. I knew if I had been distracted, I couldn't have had that connection with my son. I wrote the verse down, because it was important for me to remember. But it was a quote from elsewhere in the Bible, so I went to hunt down the original context, and found myself in Isaiah.

I tend to not just read the verse that I'm looking for, but rather the before and after to understand what is being written. As I perused Isaiah, I kept reading beyond the verse in question, and ran across yet another verse that leapt up at me.

So when they tell you to consult those squeaking, squawking mediums and fortune tellers; you are to answer "Shouldn't a people seek their God? Must the living ask the dead for teaching and instruction?" -Isaiah 8:19 CJB

I was bowled over. Squeaking mediums? Living asking the dead? How could I be so blind as to not see this still happening today?

Isaiah was scolding Israel for searching for signs and affirmation from mediums and fortune tellers; people who were, quite literally, looking for answers and advice from the dead. But like Solomon said, there's nothing new under the sun.

I am a born again Believer. My life was bought and paid for by Yeshua the Messiah, and I am redeemed by his Blood. Although my body will die and decay, I am among the Living! I have Eternal Life in him! He conquered death, and paid the price, so I am not the Dead. But who are the Dead? Everyone who rejects Him, although their bodies may physically live right now, are headed for Death. They are the Dead. Harsh? God doesn't think so.

"Shouldn't a people seek their God? Must the Living (God's people) ask the Dead (The World) for teaching and instruction?"

I am the first to admit I have been guilty of going to the World for advice. Everything from parenting advice to marriage advice to how-to-live-a-happier-life advice. And it is terrible.

Maybe not on the surface. Seems like a great idea to 'live your best life' and live for yourself. But let me tell you; it's not a very fulfilling way to live. Scripture teaches us that we live not for ourselves, but for the Kingdom of God. And as someone who has tried both on for size, I can tell you from experience that even though living for the Kingdom looks harder at the onset, and definitely brings about more judgement from others, it's far more fulfilling and far more peaceful for your soul than living for yourself.

I have tried the advice the World gives. And it makes you feel dead inside. It kills things that are precious. It robs you of your joy. It destroys your sense of purpose and meaning. And it leads to sin. Nothing good can come from the World's way of doing things, no matter how shiny and good it looks from a distance. It kills you, spiritually, emotionally, and sometimes physically. You take advice from the World, you become the Dead.

But I am God's people! I am the Living! So I should seek my God, and not the teaching and instruction from the Dead!

All scripture is God-breathed and is valuable for teaching the truth, convicting of sin, correcting faults and training in right living; thus anyone who belongs to God may be fully equipped for every good work. -2 Timothy 3:16-17

So how does that tie in to being still?

How can I be still and know God when I am busy asking the Dead for advice on how to live? If I am the Living, then I should seek God, and I know that scripture has the answer to Life. It quite literally teaches me how to live righteously, and fully equips me for every good work. Good work like raising children, being a wife, and being a homemaker. Why would I need inspiration off of Instagram when I have the most inspired work right on my bookshelf?

That's not to say I haven't learned valuable information from others, or the internet, or even Instagram itself. When I was still early in my faith, I was greatly strengthened in my resolve to live righteously by other women who were on the same journey and sharing their struggles and encouragement. I have learned a huge amount of homemaking and child-raising strategies from my mother, mother-in-law, and grandmothers. I learn a lot about a variety of subjects (not least of which is child-birth, which is a big deal to me currently) from the Internet. I'd even go so far as to hope that many of the people reading this have learned something from my blog.

But there is a big difference between reading a medical study, or looking up a recipe online and looking for lifestyle advice from Influencers and Celebrities. Or even from your friends who are not Believers. It's no mistake that social media has taken the place of community, that Influencers are modern day philosophy teachers, or that blogs, YouTube channels, and social media accounts carry the label of lifestyle influencer.

God continuously warned Israel to stay away from the practices of the pagan nations around them. It's not like the pagans were walking up to Israel and saying "hey, want to come to my BBQ? We are having roasted babies." It didn't start out there. But God knew that if they accepted them as friends, took wives from them, assimilated into them, that eventually they would be sacrificing their children in to the fires to Ba'al. And how often did that happen? Read the book of Judges and you'll learn pretty quickly how easily one generation to the next looses their faith in God, and becomes bloody, confused, and wicked people. We are no different. If anything, it's even easier today to fall into sinful ways.

The worst part is, once you've realized the World is Death, and then you take your eyes off of Yeshua, you start to sink and you're in a worse state than before.

For when people have once been enlightened, tasted the heavenly gift, become sharers in the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit), and tasted the goodness of God's Word and the power of the 'olam haba (the time to come)- and then fallen away- it is impossible to renew them so that they turn from their sins, as long as for themselves they keep executing the Son of God on the stake all over again and keep holding him in public contempt. -Hebrews 6:4-6

When an unclean spirit comes out of a person, it travels through dry country seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says to itself, "I will return to the house I left". When it arrives, it finds the house standing empty, swept clean and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they come and live there- so that in the end, the person is worse off than he was before. This is how it will be for this wicked generation.-Matthew 12:43-45

We can even look to the account of Peter walking on the water to his Lord as an example of this. As long as he kept his eyes on his Salvation, he was capable of walking on water, a literal miracle, but the second he looked around, he started to sink and cried out for help.

It's so easy to get distracted in a World that's hell-bent on taking your soul. If the unsaved are the Dead, it's safe to say they're the Walking Dead, and want to eat you alive and make you like them if given half a chance.

What started out as me just needing a mental break from the constant barrage of images, ideas, and news, quickly turned into realizing how very all-consuming it really is. As a stay at home, homeschooling wife and mother, I am not 'fighting the system' like some other people, because I've taken myself out of it. But I was still fighting the World. It wanted my attention all the time, and no matter how hard I fought, Instagram Discover would win out. I would go to look for a recipe for meatloaf, and somehow find myself chuckling at memes from The Office. My kids would come up and want to tell me something about the game they were playing, and I would half-heartedly look up, annoyed that my attention was constantly being divided. My search for 'connection' and 'a social life' took me away from exactly that.

And now that Instagram isn't on my phone, when I am sitting in a waiting room, I have nothing to scroll. So I bring a book and wait, but I also can look around and see the neck's of every person in the room craned down into that little rectangular box, eyes glazed over as the social media takes them away from the society of the room they're in.

I am not here to judge anyone's usage of social media, YouTube, blogs, the internet, or anything related to it. Like with many things, they can all be a useful tool in our lives, and can also be the very thing that leads us to sin. Looking for information about blue whales for homsechooling is done on the same search engine that pornography festers on. Watching a video about swaddling a baby can be the same place that you find dark conspiracies that keep you awake at night. We can't truly escape the world itself. As Paul said, you'd have to leave the world altogether to get away from the sinful nature of humanity and the temptations that come with it.

There are no temptations stronger than other humans face. The temptation to zone out with scrolling is the same temptation that pulls some people into zoning out with drugs, alcohol, or even just getting lost in a binge watch session on Netflix. God gives us the way out of all temptations. For me, that was deleting apps off my phone. And some days, it's leaving my phone in another room altogether.

This is hardly the end of my journey. This is a lesson I have learned over and over, it just becomes more severe as my kids gets older and I can see a physical change in the mental and emotional state of my home when I am detached from the reality right in front of me. I don't want them to feel like they're competing with a glowing screen for my attention. And I certainly don't want to be separated from God by that screen.

I haven't 'left' social media. I still have accounts across a variety of platforms. I still sit down at my computer and glance over Instagram to see how people are doing, I send texts or call my friends, I watch YouTube videos about big families and how they cook their meals. I even still use Facebook marketplace (though rarely and I question every time if it was worth my wasted time). I'll probably even share this post on some of those platforms.

I am not here to judge how anyone else spends their time, or to say I am more holy because God has been teaching me this lesson. I wanted to share how painful it can be when we ignore Him, and to be open with my journey. One day, I might leave social media altogether, if that is what I need to do to be a more present Daughter of the Most High. For now, it's still a useful tool. I pray that my heart is fertile to the teaching of our Messiah, and that I can share this post in love for all those who read it. I pray that my life brings forth good fruit, and that I do not eat the fruit of idleness by endless scrolling. I pray that I can be still and know that he is God.

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. -Proverbs 31:27